Transition

I don't really feel so depressed anymore. I am just confused. Everything in my life right now is in a transitional phase. My marriage, my living arrangements, my job, my mental health are all in transition. Most of these transitions require a major decision to be made. I am not good with decisions, not at all. As my mental health improves, I've got to decide where do I want to live? Is it a good school district for the kids? Is it close enough to work? Where will I work? Will Joe be in the picture? How do I deal with Joe?

That is the toughest question, how DO I deal with Joe? As much as I'd love to reconcile with him. He remains angry and bitter, and always tries to rationalize his past mistakes. I'd say 75% of the time I am around him, I feel anxious and frustrated. Many times I feel suicidal after discussions with him. He refuses to see a doctor to get back on his medication, so he's angry quite a bit. Even if I decide to stay separated from him, how do I deal with him? Do I welcome him in my home, or keep him away? I just can't figure it out, and I know I frustrate him with my indecision.