The past week.

Several things have happened over this last week. The most important being the move back into the house. It is a great thing for the family. Everyone seems so happy about it. I dread thinking about getting denied for refinancing. What will become of us all then. I know it is something that I can accept, but I'm not sure about Joey or Christina.

I'm going to spend the next two months enjoying my house and working in my garden and doing some much needed inner healing. If we are forced to move, I will at least have my closure on this subject. It's something that has been eating away at me for four years now. To come back to the house and find it so neglected is a difficult thing to deal with also. All I can do is move forward and do my best to clean up the mess.

Michelle is finally in labor. Soon Marcus will be born, and soon after he's born, they will both be moving away. Words cannot describe how much this will hurt. I plan on enjoying every second I have to spend with the two of them. I can always go and visit them.

I was sitting outside on the porch of the house yesterday and the kids were all gone. I felt so alone sitting there. Not just alone, lonely. I was never friends with any of the neighbors before, so I don't expect to be friends with any of them now, but wouldn't it be a nice thing? I really need a good friend, someone like Jeana. I miss her so much. I'm making myself cry. I need to stop, this is supposed to be a happy day.