I'm tired of me

I so tired of being depressed. My life is just plain miserable right now. I can't find a job, and I've never had that problem before in my life. All you ever hear anyone say is "nurses are in such high demand right now!" Well, none of those people ever searched for a nursing job. I suppose part of the problem is that I'm looking for a day shift job. I've only ever searched for night shift. I guess its a lot easier to find a night shift job, but I'm sick of that. It messes with your sleep cycle too much and I don't need that while I trying to recover from depression.

Well, I do have a job interview on Wednesday with a well know home health care agency. I suppose I should stay positive about that. I suppose I have a chance if I have an interview. I hope I don't blow the interview. This is the type of job I really want to do. I am so sick of working myself to death in hospitals with ungrateful patients and ungrateful management. I wonder, what types of questions will he ask me? I have to be prepared. I still need to get a physical before the job interview too. I'm embarrassed to list all the meds that I'm on. Do I have to list them all, I wonder. I most definitely have to list the ativan, in case I'm drug tested.

I am certain to get a lecture by my therapist on Monday, for letting Joe spend the weekend. "You're either together or you're separated, you can't be both!" I can hear it already. They way I see it, Joe's not my enemy. We both realize that we can't live together anymore, but there's no reason we can't be friends. He is one of the few people in my life that understands my depression. I don't think he's enabling me to not make friends. I just can't make friends, I'm painfully shy, have been all my life. It seems like every time I start making friends, something happens to them, or they want to be more than friends, stupid things like that.

I really miss Jeana, she's was the best friend I've ever had, but now she's always too busy for me. Won't even take a few minutes to write to me. I know she's got problems of her own, but that's all the more reason we need to talk to each other. I'm going to go write her a letter right now.